Ace's Guide: Psycho Therapy
by MissK33hl
Summary: Taskforce Headquarters isn't anything ordinary, I'll tell you that. BTW; lots of OC's.
1. Chapter 1

**Ace's Guide: Psycho Therapy****  
By Ace, the author wannabe lacking a life.  
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You know, I've always secretly wanted to become an author. I mean, what could be cooler than going ahead and writing things that generally aren't true and you've based off the top of your head? I mean, alot of the things anyone writes anymore are idiotic, and I've got tons of idiotic ideas!

Well, okay, that isn't the point. Not only would I most obviously fail at any sort of story I'd attempt to type off the top of my head, but my motivation would not last long and it would be utterly abondoned.

So, I've decided to go with something that never gets old and I'll probably never not know of something to possibly write about! Considering the fact that I live in one of the most intresting places in the world, not to mention with some of the most intresting people in the world, I've decided to go ahead and write _this_.

Oh yes. This, of all things. Something that you'd think to be so intense, so angsty and terrifyingly unreal. I've decided to simplify it all and come up with something vaguely enjoyable! Now don't get me wrong; whether or not I live with a bunch of famous geniuses, that doesn't neccasarily reflect on my own intelligence, since I'm not the smartest one in the taskforce(see? atleast I had the sense to admit I'm not the smartest. Aha!)

I shall include the romantic moments, the intimidating, scary moments, those fluffy, random moments that everyone seems to enjoy, and I will definitely not leave out those akward moments that makes everyone's skin crawl. C'mon, how can I not? Either way, I'll let you know how the taskforce dealt with them, and how you can possibly deal with similliar situations.

So here is, a complete guide to the insane and sane, of how to survive life with a bunch of devastingly bi-polar ex-human experiments. Or, more accurately, a bunch of weird people with even weirder abilities.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lesson One: **  
**- Let's Become Familliar with Our Victims, Shall we? -**

No, these are not ordinary people. No, they are not aliens, and no, they are not controlled by satan nor do they worship him(most of them, anyways). Ordinary can be defined in several different ways, I guess, but I don't think you could classify us as ordinary...

The first generation of us, such as Mello, Chris, Rachel, Matt, L, Near, and so on, were kidnapped by a laboratory specializing in human biology and physics, special scientists who were devoted to making the human race specially designed for chemical warfare and other dangerous things. The thing is, they made the humans the weapons, experimenting on them in unique and often torturous ways to make them adapt power and abilities, often combining DNA. This place was known as Unit 631, and had branches all over the world, such as Los Angeles, Winchester, Tokyo, and even a few locations in Canada and China. It was similliar to Unit 731 in 1945.

Well, enough of this scientific crap, lets get to the fun stuff!

Referring back to the keywords 'warfare', 'dangerous', and of course 'powers and abilities', we musn't forget that these are humans who have just been converted into something so strange it would give an average person a heart attack just by the sight.

No, the Kira case was dealt with long ago, so no more heart attacks from _him_.

These people can morph into animals, the most common being those from the feline or canine family, such as wolves or larger cats. They also have certain creature-like traits and enhanced senses, such as raptor vision and extreme speed or stamina.

Ever heard of Maximum Ride? Are you a fan?

Yeah, well, if you are, you'd certainly love the world I live in. We have bird-kids!

Not only do they have these unusual characteristics, such as wings and other animal-like things, but they can also generate and control elemental things and powers. Such as electricity, fire sources, earth sources, even wind, water and ice. Weird, no?

Yeah well. Science has come far and we're evolving and all of that serious stuff. Moving on.

They've been designed to withstand nearly everything targeted at them. They're human weapons of mass destruction, after all, and since they've had kids, it's been passed through their DNA and genes and stuff to us, so people like my sister and I, Dawn, who are the kids of none other than Matt and his girlfriend Lexi, have powers similar, if not the same, to theirs.

Here's the point:

Vivisection and torture have made them all mad. I suggest if you ever come across them, you don't make eye contact and you _run_ as if your ass was on fire.

Well, okay, maybe I've over exaggerating, but my advice above wasn't entirely false.

Let's take L's lover, Chris, for example. She was made to practically make the entire world go down in flames, I swear to god. She has a personality that would make even Mello look like a saint and a bite much, much, much worse than her bark. In wolf form, though, her bark is bad enough.

Anyhow.

The human race and our own sort of race have some sort of invisible line. We hardly come into contact and when we do, it either ends with a brief brush-off or it just ends up badly.

When I say badly, I mean all that is left of you is a pile of ashes. Like you were cremated and you didn't even have to pay for it, sort of thing.

Or, you know, there's Rachel. She'll make you cry with her electricity powers. Seriously, it hurts. She's shocked me before. I think It was because I was trying to go ahead and try and steal some money from Jetta, or something...What?! I need more money!

Anyways, this is your advice overview for this lesson;

-They are experiments. They are dangerous and they will cause bodily harm to you. Please, keep that in mind before approaching them because you think one of them is either drop-dead sexy or you just see something shiny on the ground near them and you are drawn to it because you're a dork.

-I'm sure you're wondering how you can tell if they are human research subjects or not. Well, it's usually hard to come across them first of all, considering the fact we're usually hiding away from the laboratory, but sometimes, when we are out, we're usually doing something peculiar. Like, I don't know; blowing up random objects and shocking people until they give into our every demand?

-Because of the general fact that they have very short tempers, please, avoid cracking any sort of 'people who cannot get away from the lab are weak!' jokes (dude, people go ahead and tell jokes like that? Shame on you!)

-Because of the general fact their animals, er, pets, are extremely exotic, unusual, and usually just as strange as the owners themselves, I tell you this; please, children. Don't feed the animals.

Oh, one more thing;

Because of the fact that our DNA has been mixed with that of an animal's, such as a cat or a dog, the females in our taskforce tend to be extremely...

Flirtatious at some points of the year.

Do not be afraid if you see a couple of 'em going at it where ever they please.

Especially Mello and Rachel. They were horrible when it came to that.

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End file.
